The pirates deal


Chapter I

Tortuga Island, Friday.

The sun goes down at the end of a torrid and humid afternoon.

After 12 months of turmoil, the pirate captains, from all the seas, finally meet each other to “parlé”.


Old friendships are seen … old stories are told … … rum is drunk … talk badly about the absentees… some of them are playing with “almost virgin” whores… other, piss on a rival’s sword when the guy is distracted, so… a delight pirate’s fête”.


Scene I – The case


Captain Talking Pick

Captain Smooth Lips


(Near a palm tree, Captain Talking Pick and Captain Smooth Lips piss against the wind.)


Captain Talking Pick

Ahoy, Lips!… What th’ fucking be happen ‘ere, ye cow – hearted feculent cuttlefish?


Captain Smooth Lips

– What do ye mean, ye festerin’ craven shark bait?


Captain Talking Pick

Th’ pestilence, o’ course!


Captain Smooth Lips

Aye!… Disgusting as a milk cup!


Captain Talking Pick

– What do ye do about it, ye miserable frozen hake? It will be dangerous to all th’ crews… Do something, by Neptune!


Captain Smooth Lips

Aye aye, Cap’n!… I’ll talk with th’ crews!


(Captain Smooth Lips shake and get out; Captain Talking Pick, with a small prostate problem, takes some more time.)